Posted in Blog

How to Eat a Book in 10 Days


Yes. It is true. I finally learned how to eat a dinosaur thanks to Chuck Klosterman. And it only took me 10 short days! Actually, that title was meant to be misleading so you’d be interested in this blog post. This tactic is employed in Klosterman’s 6th book in which the title is in fact “Eating the Dinosaur.” His title however is much more meta and insightful than mine. Plus the cover art of the book just makes you giggle.
But you’re all saying, “Jake, Eating the Dinosaur was published, like, back in 2009! Stop trying to be a pretentious hipster d bag.” I’ll agree with the pretentious hipster d bag, but let’s be honest, this guy had never entered my radar until my 23rd birthday.
While I was in downtown Portland with my family, I angrily stumbled in to a world of wonderful delights. What is this world you may ask? It is the wonderful world of Powell’s Books. If you’ve never been to this theme park of awesomeness, and we are legitimately friends offline, then I sincerely question the legitimacy of our friendship thus far. Seriously, stop reading this stupid blog and go, find a book and lose yourself there.
Back to the point at hand, you might have noticed I used the word “angrily” a few sentences back. So let’s Tarantino this bitch. None of my family thought it would be wise to make a reservation on a Saturday at the end of September around 7pm at Henry’s Tavern. It was a clusterf*** of madness. There was a Timber’s game about to start so all the hipster families that pretend they care about soccer were having burgers and brew before the game. On top of that it must have been homecoming night at several high schools because droves of awkward teens that weren’t going to tip their server (or their date if you know what I mean) were coming in wave after wave. Needless to say I had an hour or more to kill before we were able to be seated. This is when somebody (probably me) had the brilliant idea to head a block over to this gargantuan sized book store.
I have to preface this with the fact that I always have to buy some sort of odd book when I go in to Powell’s. It’s tradition for me now. Usually around $8 but sometimes I’ll go up to $15. One time I purchased a collection of different artists’ representation of cryptozoology animals. Another time I found Hipster Puppies in the bargain bin and proceeded to buy it. #winning
And this time my eyes were drawn to Klosterman’s intriguing title, hilarious graphic and enticing back cover. To give you an idea of how witty/meta/insightful this book can get, this is an excerpt from just the back cover:
Q: What is this book about?
A: Well, that’s difficult to say. I haven’t read it yet-I’ve just picked it up and casually glanced at the back cover. (Already I’m cracking a smile) There clearly isn’t a plot. I’ve heard there’s a lot of stuff about time travel in this book (I could have purchased the book on this fact alone), and quite a bit about violence and Garth Brooks and why Germans don’t laugh when they’re inside grocery stores. Ralph Nader and Ralph Sampson play significant roles. I think there are several pages about Rear Window and college football and Mad Men and why Rivers Cuomo prefers having sex with Asian women. Supposedly there’s a chapter outlining all the things the Unabomber was right about, but perhaps I’m misinformed.

Klosterman has some random ass thoughts in this book that all revolve around media, the consumption of it and where we are left picking up the pieces when all is said and done. The ethos, pathos and logos in this book are all almost perfect, but that is only because they are about things you’d never find yourself really analytically dissecting like Klosterman does for us.
While they are his thoughts, they are not his thoughts alone. Sometimes during the reading of this book you will find yourself thinking, “yeah that totally makes sense, why haven’t I thought about it like that before?”

All in all I really enjoyed this book, and while it didn’t take me quite 10 days to finish it, I do suggest reading it in chunks like he has them spread out in the book, that way you can digest the material over night more thoroughly.

Now I just have to figure out what I’m going to read next…I’m thinking something a little bit more light that dinosaur meat..

Posted in Blog

So…about that Presidential Debate..


As I’ve said on twitter and Facebook already, this song pretty much sums up the first presidential debate for me. Sure Romney did a great job tonight at looking presidential, but in my opinion, it is still Obama’s race to lose. A lot of people are revved up in this country, but its hard to imagine that one election is going to change it all. It never is, it is not just the people we elect, but also the choices we as Americans make everyday to make this country great again. We as a country are so apathetic nowadays about our future; look at both the men we have as choices to elect: whoever wins, the other is going to be set for life economically. Money is so synonymous with politics it literally makes me nauseous.
Anyway, as it stands, its still President Obama’s election to lose, I just want to ask him “what you gonna do?”

Other than that things are going great in the post grad chapter of my life. We got job applications/job interviews. We got blogs, we got scripting, we got twitters; most importantly we have FALL TV SHOWS back. And for my money, out of all the one hour dramas that have premiered, ABCs “Last Resort” has my vote as going all the way. Check it out on HULU if you haven’t already. Watching all of these shows is a legitimate part time job that I don’t get paid for. If I did, I could be making an extra bill a week with all the effort it takes.

I also have my zombie 5K coming up in a few weeks that I’ve been training for and excited about. Tomorrow my sister and I will be attending the Imagine Dragons and Awolnation concert in Portland, Oregon which should be a great show. Chody and I are still currently scripting our epic sports comedy feature at least once a week right now, so stay tuned here for updates on that and probably an eventual website/twitter will be made to follow the progress.
I’ll leave you all with one of the songs I was listening to while I was writing this blog, have a great night and keep on fighting the good fight.