Posted in Blog

East Bound & Down (Forever)

This week, marks the ending of an era. Kenny Powers is now lost to the ethers of time. He is lost, but he is not forgotten.

The series finale has us tying up all of the loose ends of the series. Who is Kenny Powers at his core? Is he a lovable douchebag that always has to win? Or is he a douchebag that has lost his way in life? Will he ever change his ways? With this epic series finale, we found out all the answers, saw what Kenny’s future will look like, all wrapped up in a pretty gift to the fans, with familiar faces like Lindsay Lohan.

Without ruining all of the jokes (because you have to watch this series, from beginning to finish…seriously, it is only 29 half hour episodes) Kenny mother f***ing Powers is the man we always hoped he would be. He was the manchild that finally grew up the way we wanted him to. It only took a loss of his job due to a douche network exec, a near suicide attempt of his best friend, and his wife filing for divorce and moving west. Basically: it takes a lot to change from a boy from a child. Most men do it in their early 20s or earlier, when they realize the financial stresses and reality of responsibility adult life brings. Kenny Powers was never able to do that in a mature way. He had baseball stardom and all the nice things we wish we had. But the reality is this, which Kenny finally came to accept: not all of us can have the nice things. And that’s okay.

Not all of us can have the jetskiis, the super models, the fast cars. In fact, 99.9% of us never will. And that’s okay. Be happy with what you have, strive to be a better person because at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. Sometimes it takes a murder/mugging (Batman style) a heroine addiction and a sobriety journey that takes you to Africa to realize what Kenny summarizes in his finale monologue, one that can stick with you long after the screen cuts to black:

If you ask me, the secret to success is to have a diverse portfolio. Too much of any one thing is no bueno. Of course, sometimes balancing can be hard, but all things worth having are worth fighting for.

Sometimes hard work pays off.

If a man doesn’t have a dream, well guess what? His soul begins to die.

So after you’ve accomplished your dreams, the best thing to do is to come up with new dreams. That way, as the years roll on, as they will do, you’ll always look to the future with hope.

But of course the future is sure to hold its fair share of miseries. All kinds of shitty sorrows. I find solace in the fact that from each sorrow comes a little bit of knowledge. And with knowledge is wisdom.

If you’re lucky, you get a second act in life. But sooner or later, death will come. Unannounced, old man reaper comes to claim your soul. All you can hope for is that the people you love will cherish the time they’ve spent with you.

In the end, you judge a man by how he influenced the world. You judge him by the seeds he left behind. And you judge the seeds by the harvest. Kenny Powers’ harvest remains unknown, but I’m pretty goddamned proud of my seeds.

Bravo East Bound & Down. Thank you for giving us a journey of a life time, with an unforgettable cast, and poignant, definitive ending.

But remember: if all else fails…buy a jet ski and celebrate being an American: 

Posted in Blog

Everything you think you know about blog posts are wrong!

This is just my own long form version of a tweet, because I don’t think I can get this much random/sarcastic word vomit in 140 characters or less.

Let me preface in saying, I understand it is hard to get people’s attention these days. We got smart phones, tablets, laptops, desktops, tvs, billboards, and now, even smart watches. All vying for our eyes attention. From there we have a hundred thousand million different companies on each of those different screens. So I get it: its hard to get people’s attention. But every blog poster/journalist/writer needs to stop writing these articles that are titled, “everything you know about [insert topic here] is wrong!

Have we become that blase and sarcastic in America that everything we knew about everything is wrong? These titles are always misleading and the “misconceptions” I have about the topics are usually minuscule or non existent. You’re not going to blow me away with your random topic post about the truth of “david vs goliath.” Just come up with more interesting, specific topics that actually offer a morsel of truth about what you’re going to talk about. That’s all I ask. Even this blog post was misleading. I’m not blowing your mind. It just has a little to do with the subject matter. When did people get so lazy with their titles with trying to grab my attention. Stop being so hipster and sarcastic. We are adults. That is all.


Posted in Blog

Thor The Dark World Mini Review

(Minor spoilers ahead)

Alright, so this is when I usually finally have the time and patience to go check out a block buster movie: the Tuesday after it was released. Granted, it isn’t timely, and I’m by no means a professional, I thought I’d write down some of my initial thoughts on the film as it has had 12 hours to digest in my mind.


Thor is back. So what? His character in his first solo movie and the following Avenger film has always left me wanting more. The first film he is kind of a spoiled brat that straight up cuts off a bridge from Earth to his planet…so, how does he get back there in the Avengers? By following his brother? Kind of a weak explanation..unless I’m forgetting something that they explained. They kind of explained it in this film how he gets back, but it is still kind of weak. If you’re going to have a point of making him destroying this bridge, and he can never get back there again, how come there are a million different ways for him to get from planet to planet. I don’t mind that, just don’t say that a bridge and connection is destroyed and make it all sad, when all you need is a special vehicle, or hammer to take you across the galaxy.

Loki:  now here is the only character worth a damn in these Thor movies. We all know it, and the studio knows it too. Apparently reshoots and rewrites added an extra 2 or 3 scenes with the God of Mischief due to fan input. This is great, because his character is the most complex and has the most to do. On the one hand he was raised to be a great prince underneath his father, King Odin. Then, we find out in the first one that he is adopted: this is interesting. I know we are drawing upon comic book characters here, but the thought of an orphaned demi-god is just interesting and can get to be interesting if we delve into it a bit deeper. Enter the Avengers, where he too believes he deserves to be king of a world. So he attempts to enslave humanity and is thwarted by his adopted brother and his crazy friends. In Thor: The Dark World, for reasons I shall not divulge, Loki is asked to help his brother pull of essentially a heist. Add to the fact that the guy has the power to manipulate our thoughts, so we think we are seeing something we actually aren’t, this guy can play some serious mind games on multiple levels. Yeah he is this evil demi-god with a king-complex and sort of an Oedipus thing going on too, but he still shows us sometimes that he has a heart. Those moments are great, because you think he is showing his humanity. But don’t be fooled. He is complex, but he is also conniving.

Everybody else is boring. There is no need to talk about them. There is Natalie Portman…who at least is showing up in these Thor films. There are a couple of scenes in particular on Asgard that reminded me of her scenes on Naboo with Anakin. It is great because these are the emotions and acting chops we wanted from Portman…instead of these phoned in performances we got in the Star Wars Prequels. I guess that can go on to my next point: the director Alan Taylor (of Game of Thrones fame) really pulled some good performances out of his actors, and some how made the foreign worlds seem real to us. The use of on location shooting is a big seller. The shots look foreign, but you know they filmed that somewhere on this planet, which is awesome. There were times during the big epic special effects scenes or the landscape shots that made me just smile from ear to ear. It isn’t the perfect melding of space operas with fantasy worlds, but it is a close attempt. And until Guardians of the Galaxy, it is the best attempt at melding multiple genres into one I’ve seen for awhile. What did you guys think?

(Ending spoilers ahead)

And what did you guys think of the Collector after the credits? I felt that was a little much and didn’t have a lot of information for the viewers except for some big comic book readers. Without giving too much away, some old lady in the theater who probably knows nothing about Guardians yelled out, “David Bowie from Flight of the Concords” when they saw Del Toro in his makeup and outfit. Let me know about your thoughts in the comment section!